please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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