Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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