Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
