Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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