Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
