And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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