He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
