Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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