he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
