I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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