she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
