you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
