Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
