you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
sarcasm needs its own font
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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