They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
