I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
