it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
