I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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