I'm pants shitting drunk right now
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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