I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
