i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Randomize
