Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
