Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
