I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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