I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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