What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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