I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
