East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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