Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize