I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
