Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
