i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
