she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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