when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
did i walk over a car last night?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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