if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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