a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize