why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
