When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think people are normalizing furries
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
