just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
