Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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