I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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