Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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