dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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