is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
