First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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