so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
