we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
