dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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