she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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