I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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