guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
