i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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