Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
