last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
