Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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