Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
