Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
