Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
