there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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