just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
