Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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