just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
