hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
