So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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