member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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