this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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